Living The Normal Life
by Red Witch
Summary: After the events of DOOML, Scott and Jean attempt to find a normal life on their own. In the Baxter Building. Good luck with that.
1. Moving out

**The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any Marvel characters has been smashed to pieces. Along with the status quo of the Misfitverse. I decided to have some fun before moving on to the final chapter of the saga. This is just something that ran through my deranged head as Scott and Jean leave the X-Mansion for the first time and try to do something no mutant has yet been able to accomplish! **

**Living the Normal Life**

**Chapter One: Moving Out**

"Think of this as a brand new start of a brand new adventure," Scott said in a happy voice. "We're moving out and moving on to live real lives just like a normal family."

"Since when are we a **normal **family?" Madelyne asked from the back seat of the SUV. "I mean don't you guys have a kid that lives in another timeline or something?"

"Madelyne…" Jean sighed. "I know you're a little upset about leaving your friends at the Institute. But really this is for the best. For all of us. No more craziness, no more being someone's pawn in a big superhero game…"

"Do our **enemies** know that?" Madelyne asked. "And why are we taking Jean's SUV? If we're going to take off to a new life, can we at least do it in style?"

"No, we don't need my old car," Scott said. "Besides the way it gets blown up every month anyway it was too expensive to keep."

"You left behind your corvette?" Madelyne said.

"It wasn't practical," Scott told her. "Besides I don't need a fancy car. Especially one that gets destroyed every other week."

"Boy Jean you really mind wiped him good," Madelyne blinked.

"Don't look at me," Jean told her. "I wanted him to bring it with us. I told you Scott I could drive the SUV while you follow us…"

"No," Scott interrupted. "That car is a symbol of the past. I'm casting it aside to make room for the future."

"That's because the Professor gave it to you isn't it?" Jean put two and two together.

"That car was a lot like our relationship," Scott explained. "All shiny and fast powered on the surface but a whole lot of responsibility underneath coupled with a ton of guilt and lies!"

"Boy all that therapy stuff we've gone through while we were in the X-Men really got to you didn't it Scott?" Madelyne asked. "You gonna give up your goggles while you're at it?"

"Maddie at least try to make this work," Jean sighed. "Can you do that please? All we ask is that you keep an open mind and try to help us make it as a normal family."

"A normal family of ex-mutant superheroes with serious issues, an all powerful cosmic force and a clone," Madelyne rolled her eyes. "Yeah this is gonna work."

"It **will** work," Scott told her. "We have it all planned out."

"And where are we gonna live our oh so normal lives?" Madelyne asked. "Mutant Town or Fantasy Land?"

"No, we have a nice apartment waiting for us at the Baxter Building in New York City," Jean told her.

"The **Baxter Building?"** Madelyne asked. "Wait isn't that where…?"

"Yes, the Fantastic Four do live above us," Jean sighed. Then she said in a chipper voice. "They're going to be our neighbors as well as landlords."

"So what you're saying is that we're trading **one **family of super powered maniacs for **another?**" Madelyne gave her a look.

"They are **not **maniacs," Jean admonished. "Well the Fantastic Four anyway. This is going to be fun!"

"That's what I'm afraid of," Madelyne said. "If their ideas of fun are **anything **like the X-Men and the Misfits…"

"It's not going to be **anything** like that!" Jean told her. "You will go to a normal school and I'll teach you more about your powers at home. I'll take a couple of classes during the day and start looking for a job."

"Oh yeah I can just see the offers **pouring in,"** Madelyne rolled her eyes. "Are you going to get a job too Scott?"

"I already have a job! I am going to be the new assistant manager of the building," Scott said cheerfully.

"What does that mean? What does an assistant manager do?" Madelyne asked.

"Oh he does lots of things," Scott said. "He helps fix things when they break, assist the tenants with their problems. Sometimes if someone is locked out I help them get into their apartment."

"You mean a **janitor?"** Madelyne said. "You're going to be the janitor."

"I am not the janitor!" Scott snapped at her. He softened. "I'm going to be the **assistant janitor**."

"A well paid assistant janitor," Jean said. "In fact we're also getting free room and board."

"Gee I wonder **why?**" Madelyne rolled her eyes and snickered.

"Here we are!" Jean said cheerfully, ignoring Madelyne. They pulled up to the Baxter Building. "There it is, the Baxter Building."

"And there parked in front is an ambulance," Madelyne pointed. "And a few cop cars."

"That doesn't mean anything," Scott said a bit too quickly. "Could be for something else."

"Yeah there could be a dozen reasons why there's a need for medical equipment and law enforcement here," Madelyne told him.

Scott parked they car and they went into the building. Immediately the elevator opened. "This is all your fault Johnny!" A blond haired woman in a blue uniform snapped at a blond haired man in a similar uniform. They were accompanied by a few paramedics, a policeman…

And a body covered by a bag being wheeled out on a gurney.

"Uh Madelyne maybe you should sit in the car?" Jean gulped.

"Like I've never seen a **dead body** before," Madelyne gave her a look. "Give me a break."

"Come on he was like ninety two," Johnny said. "It was gonna happen sooner or later anyway!"

"He was sixty one!" Susan snapped at her brother.

"Really? He looked a lot older to me," Johnny blinked.

"I think I'm starting to see how you got this apartment so cheap," Madelyne commented as they wheeled the body away.

"Look the guy had a bad heart! How was I supposed to know that my fire would start an explosion that scared him so bad…" Johnny began when he noticed he had an audience. "Uh hi there."

"What happened?" Jean looked around.

"Minor accident," Johnny said quickly. "Uh Scott Summers and Jean Grey right?"

"No, they are the Incredible Hulk and Miss Universe," Madelyne gave him a look. "I'm Madelyne. So what's with the dead guy?"

"Well uh," Sue gulped. "He had a little heart attack…"

"Looks like quite a big heart attack to me," Madelyne quipped. "Who was he?"

"He was the man in charge of maintenance," Sue said. "Actually Scott since you were supposed to be his assistant that makes you the new man in charge of maintenance."

"Wow Scott you've already got a promotion on your first day!" Madelyne remarked in a cheerful sarcastic tone. "You're really climbing your way up the ladder!"

"Scott maybe this isn't such a good idea?" Jean said.

"Jean it's going to be fine! So there will be a few explosions and fires?" Scott told her. "And our landlords are superheroes. Other than that life will be perfectly normal."

"Where have I heard **that** before?" Madelyne rolled her eyes.

**So will Scott and Jean manage to have a normal life in the Baxter Building? What do you think? Stay tuned for the madness! **


	2. First Day On The Job

**And now let's meet the neighbors and see what Scott's new job will be like! I'm just making up some people based on what I saw on the Fantastic Four cartoon with my own insane twist! **

**First Day on the Job**

"I'm sorry that your arrival was a little hectic," Sue said as she talked to the mutants inside the elevator.

"Oh no, we **always **see a dead person being wheeled out no matter where we go," Madelyne gave her a look. "Nothing new for us."

"I like her," Johnny snickered.

"Johnny why don't you take their bags to their apartment?" Sue suggested. "I want to show them around and meet the other tenants."

"What? You want me to be a bellboy?" Johnny snapped. "He's the freaking janitor for crying out loud!"

"Here, I want room service delivered in half an hour," Madelyne grinned as she handed him her suitcase. "Grilled cheese and a chocolate milkshake. And don't forget to turn down my bed."

"Maybe you're not as cute as I thought you were," Johnny made a face.

"Johnny," Sue gave him a look that meant 'Do what I say or else'.

"Why can't you get Ben to do this?" Johnny asked. "The big guy was made for lugging stuff around! I'm not cut out for this!"

"Think of it as weight lifting," Jean smiled.

"And one little piece of advice," Scott whispered to him. "Don't even singe anything. Trust me. You don't **want **to know what she did to the **last guy** she caught setting fire to her stuff."

"Come on Scott," Jean waved. "Pyro had brain damage even **before** the incident. And he was able to walk again within a few days. And by the end of the week he could go to the bathroom all by himself."

Johnny's eyes widened. "Thanks for the info, bro," Johnny gulped. "Where's their room again?"

"Five D," She told him. "We'll stop on the fourth floor. All our remaining residents are on the fourth and fifth floors."

"Remaining residents?" Scott asked.

"So we have a couple of explosions and tiny earthquakes and alien invasions?' Johnny scoffed. "Some people take things too seriously!"

"Yes," Sue escorted the mutants out of the elevator. "Johnny please take the bags."

"Fine, but I expect a tip for this," Johnny grumbled as the elevator left.

"Susan? What's going on?" A regal looking woman with short white hair and an elegant tan pantsuit strode by. "Who are these people?"

"Hello Courtney. These are new tenants. This is Courtney Thornpe-Smythe," Sue introduced. "One of the residents here at the Baxter Building."

"I am one of the few remaining original tenants of the Baxter Building that have **not** been driven off by your husband and his friends shenanigans!" Courtney snapped. She looked at them with a disdainful look. "I know you. You're that Jean Grey girl and that Scott Summers boy! The ones that have been giving my cousin headaches!"

"Cousin?" Scott asked.

"Edward Kelly," Courtney sniffed. "He's my second cousin on my father's side but we were close when we were youngsters. I remember him telling me all about you mutants and all the damage you caused!"

"Oh goody," Scott said cheerfully. "Some things never change."

"So you're moving in and taking over the janitor's position?" Courtney sneered. "What? This building doesn't have enough **freaks** as it is?"

"Okay so we'll see you later Courtney," Sue quickly steered Jean and the others away from her. "So nice talking to you! I'll see you later and talk about that thing…"

"Charming woman," Jean said under her breath as they left. "So she's related to Kelly huh? I see the family resemblance."

"Most of the other tenants aren't so…" Sue paused to find the right word.

"Hostile? Bigoted?" Scott asked. "Stuck up ice queens?"

"Well yes," Sue sighed. "Courtney is all right in her own way…"

"I'd like to shove a truck in her way," Madelyne grumbled.

"The other tenants are a bit more…Open minded," Sue went to another apartment. "This is Mrs. Miriam Finelli. She's very sweet. You just need to remember three things. One, she doesn't see very well, two Johnny Carson is still on television and three…Do you like cats?"

"I used to own one," Jean said.

"Oh well then everything will be…" Sue began.

"Before it was mutated by a lunatic called the High Evolutionary into a cat man and tried to kill me," Jean finished. "Then again he didn't like me that much **before** he was mutated."

"Really?" Sue blinked. "Let's not mention that little fact to Mrs. Finelli. Uh on second thought let's skip ahead to the next tenant. It's close to her time to take her medication and watch Carson anyway…"

"Who's this Carson guy you keep talking about?" Madelyne asked.

"Never mind!" Jean sighed. "Who else?"

"There's Mr. Pettibone in this apartment, a retired colonel," Sue told them. "He fought in the Second World War and was highly decorated. Okay sometimes he thinks he's back in the war but that's mostly because of all the explosions…And sometimes the building shakes."

They could hear the Star Spangled Banner being played. "We might as well skip this one too," Sue gulped. "Trust me, do not go in there while he's playing the Star Spangled Banner. Whatever you do, if you hear that music **stay away!"**

"More helpful advice," Scott sighed.

"Is there anybody in this apartment building that's **not** over eighty?" Madelyne asked.

"There are two other apartments that have tenants but they are all at work so you'll meet them later. Let's go to the next floor," Sue went into the elevator. "The rest of the tenants are on that floor as well as your apartment building."

They went to the next floor. "This is where Mr. Mapleloop lives. Well he used to be Professor Mapleloop before he went a little…"

"Loopy?" Madelyne suggested.

"Yes," Sue knocked on the door. A wild eyed man in his late fifties with balding grey and brown hair hidden by some kind of tin foil hat appeared. He was wearing a brown tweed suit and a brown bathrobe and slippers. "Professor?"

"Sue? This is not a good time," He gulped.

"Sorry Professor I just wanted to introduce our new tenants," Sue smiled pleasantly. "This is Scott Summer, his fiancé Jean Grey and her sister Madelyne. In fact Scott will be our new custodian."

"Are they trustworthy?" Mapleloop blinked. "Are you sure they're not…mutant alien vegetables from outer space?"

"No, we're just regular garden variety Earth mutants," Scott said.

"Oh Earth mutants. That's fine then," Mapleloop waved. "As long as they're not in cahoots with the alien vegetables that are trying to take over the planet. I have to go! I have an experiment with my latest broccoli bomb that needs to be watched over. Good day."

As soon as he closed the door there was an explosion inside.

BOOOOOOOOM!

"SUCCESS!" Mapleloop whooped. "LOOK AT THE SPLATTER ON THAT BABY!"

"I should introduce him to Pyro," Scott groaned. "Those two would get along perfectly."

"Didn't we leave the X-Mansion to get **away** from nuts like that?" Madelyne asked.

They heard raised voices from the next apartment. "We are not moving Samantha and that is **final!**" A forty year old man with brown hair and a distinguished mustache snapped as he stepped out the door. He was wearing a gray suit and red tie with black shoes.

"Oswald, we are moving! I can't take another month in this madhouse!" A well groomed woman in a blue dress and short dark blonde hair stepped out and glared at him. "It's not like we can't afford another place!"

"That's not the principle here!" Mr. Pentergrass snapped. "I refuse to be driven out by those lunatics that own…Oh hello Susan we were just talking about you. Are these new tenants?"

"Run! Run while you still can!" Mrs. Pentergrass told them.

"Samantha…" Mr. Pentergrass gave his wife a look.

"This is Mr. and Mrs. Pentergrass," Sue introduced. "Mr. and Mrs. Pentergrass these are our new tenants, Scott Summers, Jean and Madelyne Grey. Scott is also going to be our new Custodian."

"Wait a minute…" Mr. Pentergrass blinked. "Haven't I seen you two before? On television? Aren't you those X-Men?"

"We were, but not anymore," Jean explained.

"And you're going to be living **here?**" Mrs. Pentergrass blinked.

"Yes," Jean said cheerfully.

"I see," Mr. Pentergrass thought for a moment. "Ms. Storm we're giving you our notice. We're **moving!**"

"What? Why?" Sue asked.

"I think I can guess…" Scott grumbled.

"Susan over the past few years we have put up with a **lot **since your family moved in," Mrs. Pentergrass sniffed. "Holes in the walls, explosions in the middle of the night, giant cockroaches, monsters, paparazzi, alien shape shifters, mole people and what not."

"And yes we understand that when one is doused with cosmic radiation, one tends to attract all sorts of oddities," Mr. Pentergrass looked at the mutants. "But when it comes to mutants I am afraid **that** is where we draw the **line!**"

"I **told** you something like this would happen Oswald!" Mrs. Pentergrass sniffed. "But did you listen to me? No! I told you months ago that sooner or later those Fantastic Four would attract even more dangerous freaks to live here and look what's happened!"

"All right darling," Mr. Pentergrass sighed. "I owe you a diamond broach. Happy?"

"I will be when we move out of this **insane asylum!"** She said as she slammed the door in their faces.

"Good riddance!" Madelyne snapped. "It will be two less people for us to clean up after anyway!"

"I can't believe they did that…" Susan was shocked.

"I can," Scott grumbled. "I'm sorry Susan but a lot of people aren't exactly big fans of mutants."

"There's only one person left before we go to your apartment," Sue knocked on a nearby door. "Mrs. Smith? Mrs. Smith it's Sue Storm!"

A sweet faced elderly woman opened the door. She took one look at Scott and Jean and screamed her head off. Then she locked the door. "That was strange," Sue blinked.

"Not really. I recognized her," Jean gulped. "She used to be a substitute teacher at Bayville High."

"Oh…" Susan blinked. "Well uh, maybe I should show you your apartment?"

"Good idea," Scott sighed.

"Yeah this new adventure of ours has gotten off to a **roaring** start," Madelyne quipped. "Are we having fun yet?"

"Maybe this isn't going to be as easy as we thought?" Jean sighed.

"You think?" Scott gave her a look.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"You actually **chased off** Mr. and Mrs. Snoot-Face?" Johnny Storm laughed as Scott helped the Fantastic Four work in Reed's lab later that day. "Oh man! You guys haven't even been here a **day **and this is **already** working out perfectly!"

"Yeah maybe you guys can get Courtney to vamoose before the end of the week?" Ben Grimm chuckled as he lifted a heavy piece of equipment. "That'd solve **all** our problems!"

"Ben please," Reed sighed as he looked over some calculations. "We really need to fix this lab. I am afraid our last encounter with Doctor Doom weakened several key points in the structure as well as the floor. I'm trying to calculate exactly where they are and where they need to be reinforced. And Johnny please don't play with the buttons again."

"I am not playing with the buttons!" Johnny snapped. Unfortunately as he gestured he accidentally hit one. "Whoops."

Several giant tentacles popped out of the wall. "That's not good!"

"WATCH OUT FOR THE TENTACLES!" Scott shouted. He blasted one of them as it tried to grab him.

"WHOA! THIS IS NOT COOL MAN!" Johnny yelled. "FLAME ON!" He flew into the air and blasted one tentacle with his heat blasts.

"If it isn't one blasted thing it's another!" Ben grunted as he used his enormous strength to tangle with two tentacles at once.

"Don't panic! All we have to do is…" Reed called out before he was pinned down by a tentacle.

"I got it!" Scott used his optic blasts and severed the tentacle. However his optic blast also hit part of the floor and made a huge hole in it that traveled through a few floors.

"Shut off the system…" Reed groaned as he stretched his arm to where the button was and shut it off. He pulled himself free.

"Oh right," Scott blinked. "Sorry about that. I'm just so used to blasting stuff in the Danger Room…"

"I think Cyclops just found a weak spot in the floor, Stretch," Ben chuckled.

"Right through to Mr. and Mrs. Pentergrass' apartment," Reed winced at the sound of screaming. He stretched his neck through the hole. "Sorry folks. Uh little accident here. Is everyone all right?"

"DO WE **LOOK** ALL RIGHT YOU LONG NECKED FREAK?" Mrs. Pentergrass screamed. "YOU NEARLY KILLED US! AND YOU BROKE MY CHINA! MY MOTHER'S ANTIQUE CHINA! IT'S SHATTERED TO PIECES!"

"THAT'S IT! WE'RE LEAVING **TONIGHT** AND STAYING AT A HOTEL UNTIL WE FIND A NEW PLACE TO LIVE!" Mr. Pentergrass screamed.

"BUT WHAT ABOUT MY CHINA?" Mrs. Pentergrass bawled.

"LEAVE IT! I'LL BUY YOU A WHOLE DINING ROOM SET IF WE EVER GET OUT OF THIS ALIVE!" Mr. Pentergrass screamed.

"And so ends day one of our whole new life," Scott said to himself. "Maybe this wasn't such a smart move after all?"

**Day one was such fun! Let's see what disasters are new in day two! **


	3. Second Day on the Job

**Second Day on the Job**

"Now today we have to check the plumbing in Mrs. Smith's apartment," Reed Richards told Scott. "Fix the dumbwaiter in Courtney's apartment. Unplug the toilet in Mr. Mapleloop's apartment…again. And of course patch up the holes in the ceiling and fix what's left of the Pentergrass' apartment. Normally you would do most of these jobs yourself but since Pentergrass incident was partially my fault for allowing Johnny **near** my lab in the first place, I think I should assist you and show you the ropes a bit."

"Well that's nice of you," Scott said. He was wearing jeans and a red sweater and had some tools with him.

"And to make sure one or two little security glitches are fixed," Reed added quickly. He took out a small handheld device and started scanning the walls.

"Wait, security glitches?" Scott asked. "What do you mean by **security glitches?"**

"Well a couple of weeks ago Doctor Doom attempted to take over the entire Baxter Building by infusing the defense systems with his own modified nanites and they kind of got into all of the buildings mechanical systems," Reed whistled. "We didn't have time to finish a complete security check but I am pretty certain that the entire building is at least ninety eight percent disinfected."

"Ninety eight percent?" Scott asked. "Why only ninety eight?"

"Well Johnny has been complaining that his socks are moving around on his own," Reed told him. "But then again he never washes them very much so…"

Sue came out of a nearby apartment building. "Mr. Smith refuses to leave her apartment building," She groaned. "Or let Scott in there. Something about a Sadie Hawkins dance and monsters."

"Oh great," Scott groaned. "She would have to remember **that!"**

"What happened?" Reed asked.

"It's a long story," Scott sighed. "You see there was this friend of ours. An inventor named Forge who decided to experiment with Kurt's teleportation abilities. Well…"

Just then a blood curdling scream was heard from inside the apartment. "Okay I know **that **wasn't because of me," Scott remarked.

"No it wasn't," Reed looked at his beeping handheld device. "Oh my! We'd better get in there!"

When they burst in they saw several metallic tentacles writhing all around a sink and clinging to the walls. "Ah, I'm guessing that's **not** supposed to go there is it?" Scott asked.

"No it isn't," Reed said. "Looks like we did miss a few. And they're multiplying and trying to take over the building again. The good news is that they seem to be only concentrated in this apartment."

"AAAAHHHH!"

"The bad news is they are trying to kill us," Sue snapped as she created a force field to protect them.

"Sue, you go rescue Mrs. Smith! We'll handle it from here!" Scott snapped. He used his optic blasts to blast the tentacles when Sue dropped her force field.

ZZZZZZZZAAPP!

"Good shot! They seem to be reacting rather strongly to your optic blasts," Reed said as one tentacle blew apart. "And they seem to be reforming at a slower pace! Scott! shoot left!"

ZZAAP! CRASH!

"Uh sorry, I meant my left," Reed called out. "Oh well she needed to replace those dishes anyway."

ZZZAPP! BLAST!

"This doesn't seem to be doing much!" Scott shouted.

"It's only a short gap measure until I get the harmonic positron frequency emitter! That will short circuit the nannites central program!" Reed shouted. "Scott! Left again!"

ZAPP! BLAST! SHATTER!

"Sorry! I meant **your** left this time," Reed called out.

"Well you should have **said **that!" Scott snapped.

"Just hand me the harmonic positron frequency emitter! It looks like a green tuning fork!" Reed shouted.

"You mean this? Catch!" Scott threw it.

Reed caught it. "This is the Positron harmonic frequency modulator! This is for starting up robots! And it's not green it's blue."

"Hello! Glasses! Can't exactly tell which colors are what sometimes!" Scott shouted as he blasted another tentacle.

Reed asked, stretching his neck to look at it. "What we want is a tuning fork of a different color."

"There's about ten of them in here!" Scott shouted. "And they all look red to me! Which **one** is it?"

"Uh, I know this…" Reed tried to remember.

"Don't you label these things?" Scott yelled.

"Well I've been meaning too but I get so distracted," Reed said. "My left!"

BLAST! ZAP! BLAM!

"Sue! Honey which one of these is the harmonic positron frequency emitter?" Reed shouted.

"You mean it's not the blue one?" Sue yelled.

"I picked the blue one!" Scott shouted. "I think."

"Was it navy blue or light blue?" Sue yelled.

"They all look the same to me!" Scott shouted. "Ruby quartz glasses remember?"

"You know Reed you really should be labeling your tools," Sue called out.

"I meant to but…" Reed shouted.

ZAP! BLAST!

"REED WHICH ONE IS IT?" Scott shouted as the tentacles turned into sharp swords.

"This one!" Reed grabbed it. "It's that weird turquoise color that kind of looks like green but it's really blue." He turned it on and it emitted a pulse that shattered the tentacles and turned all of them into tiny pieces.

"Well…That was harder than I thought," Scott remarked, looking at the destroyed apartment.

"Did I mention you're getting time and a half for this job?" Reed asked calmly.

"Yes you did," Scott nodded. "So you want me to…?"

"No, I think it might be better if you go fix Courtney's dumbwaiter first," Sue noticed Mrs. Smith clinging for dear life on the light fixture on the ceiling. "At least until Mrs. Smith calms down a bit."

"We'll handle this for now and meet you later when you go to the **other **apartment that's completely trashed," Reed sighed.

"Good idea," Scott sighed and left the room. "Good thing I picked up all those carpentry skills from every time someone blew up a wall at the Institute. I just hope Jean and Madelyne are having a better day."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"This won't be so bad," Jean said cheerfully as she drove Madelyne to school. "School will be fun. You will be with kids your own age and you will have a normal education just like everyone else. Now you remember your back story?"

"I live with my older sister and her fiancé because my parents are divorced and my mother is in rehab," Madelyne recited her lines. "Scott's father disappeared with some bimbo when he was a kid and his mom had a brain tumor but didn't survive the operation."

"Very good," Jean said. "And if anyone asks we are not **those Grays**, repeat, we are **not** from the X-Men! We have never been at the Xavier Institute, got it?"

"Yeah but will they?" Madelyne gave her a look. "Come on Jean, you've been on TV more times than repeats of the Brady Bunch. They're bound to figure it out sooner or later."

"No, I am going to use my powers to disguise my identity so they will see someone different," Jean told her.

"Isn't that like against the rules or something?" Madelyne asked. "Misusing your powers?"

"Misdirecting people on our identities for our own protection isn't exactly an invasion of a person's mind," Jean bristled. "It's allowed."

"What about my transcripts?" Madelyne asked.

"I had them made for you with a completely believable background."

"You paid Trinity to fake them you mean."

"No, I did **not,**" Jean softened. "Althea did it for me for free."

"Oh well that makes **all** the difference," Madelyne said in a mock cheerful tone. "Going to school under an assumed identity with fake transcripts and a fake past, yes I can see how normal our lives are going to be. Just like the ones in Goodfellas…None of them had any real ID's either, except for their prison records."

"Well what do you **want** from me?" Jean snapped. "Do you want people to know you're a mutant? Do you want people to know that you're a clone of a former X-Man? Do you want people pointing and staring at you? Do you? You want to end up with everyone pointing and talking behind your back! And it doesn't matter how nice you were to those jerks! Oh no! They forget about all the things you've done for them! All the time you spent with them with their stupid projects and listening complain about their stupid hair and boyfriend problems mean nothing! You become a leper overnight! All your accomplishments, meaningless! They take away your trophies, your titles, your place on the yearbook staff… Not even the **chess team** wants to associate with you!"

"Uh Jean…" Madelyne gulped.

"The freaking **chess team**! A group that spends every Saturday playing stupid magic card games and has more pimples than an Oxy clear commercial and talks to each other in Klingon thinks **you** are a freak!" Jean went on. "And to add insult to injury even the jocks enjoyed it when they put you down!"

"Uh Earth to Jean," Madelyne blinked as Jean's Phoenix glow started to surround her. "You might want to cool down a minute there."

"They even made schedules on who's turn it would be to taunt you!" Jean snapped. "The Jocks who can't even add made schedules with the chess team! Oh yeah it's no wonder that why the Chess Team was all for it! They were no longer the bottom of the food chain! Now someone else was going to get beat up besides them! And then there was that football player who started dressing up like a Star Trek character and wrote me bad threatening notes! What was **that** about?"

"JEAN! FOCUS HERE!" Madelyne snapped. "In a few more seconds you are going to burn down the car!"

"I'm sorry," Jean sighed and caught herself. She powered down. "I went away for a while…I'm back now. Maddie, I just want you to have a better experience at school than I did. Okay?"

"Okay, I get it," Madelyne sighed. "Okay we're here."

"You're already registered so have a good day," Jean said as Madelyne got out of the car. "Good luck."

"Something tells me I am going to need it," Madelyne sighed.

Jean decided to grab a quick cup of coffee and maybe something to eat before heading back to the Baxter Building. She was near a park so she stopped on a bench to rest a moment and have some coffee.

Then some purse snatcher tried to steal her purse.

"HEY! BRING THAT BACK!" Jean reacted instantly and grabbed the robber, dragging her and her purse back towards her telekinetically.

"She's a mutant!" Someone screamed.

Before Jean knew it several people were staring at her. "THAT MUTANT IS ATTACKING SOMEONE!" A person yelled.

"I'm just trying to get my purse back!" Jean yelled. "He stole it from me!"

"HELP! SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM THIS CRAZY MUTANT!" The robber yelled.

"Put him down freak!" A police officer ran up to her. He drew out his weapon.

"SHOOT HER! SHOOT THE MUTANT!" Someone yelled.

Jean panicked.

_**STOP THIS RIGHT NOW! **_

Jean turned around and realized that everyone was in a trance. She realized that her powers had done this. And there was only one way out. _There was no mutant here. Nothing happened! _She altered the memories of everyone standing around her. She then glared at the robber as she retrieved her purse. _You will no longer steal for a living. You are going to change your life. Starting now. You are going to confess to the police officer all your other crimes and pay your debt to society._

"Yeah…What have I been **doing** all these years?" The robber blinked. "I…I gotta change my ways! Officer!"

_I can't believe I just __**did**__ that!_ Jean thought to herself.

_**It was self defense**_. Some voice reasoned inside of her. _**You **__**want**__** another mutant riot in the middle of the city? You **__**want **__**to draw attention to yourself? **_

"No," Jean answered honestly.

_**You did the right thing, **_The voice spoke to her as she watched her would be assailant turn himself into the police officer. _**And you changed someone else's life for the better. That man will never steal or hurt anyone again. How can you say that was a bad thing? **_

"That's right," Jean spoke to herself moving away quietly. "It was necessary. An act of self defense. No one got hurt. That's the important thing. The best thing to do is just forget it and move on."

_I'd better not tell Scott about this, _She thought to herself as she went back to the car. _He'd only worry for no reason. Everything is under control. _

Just then her cell phone rang. Jean answered it. "Hello? Oh hello Principal Witherson. WHAT?"

Then Jean realized that **nothing** was under control.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" Scott swore as he banged on a pipe in the ruined apartment. There was water everywhere.

"Scott? Scott what's happening?" Jean walked in and looked around. "What's with all the water?"

"Let's just say I'm not as good with plumbing as I thought I was," Scott sighed. "What about you? It took you long enough to drop Madelyne off at school."

"Well I did but then there was…an incident."

"I don't like the sound of that," Scott looked at her.

"Apparently just as Madelyne got settled into her new classroom **that** was the time her telepathic powers decided to emerge," Jean sighed. "She got scared. Things started floating around. Books, pencils, scissors…Her teacher…"

"I think I see where this is going here," Scott sighed. "So am I correct in assuming Maddie is going to be home schooled now?"

"Yeah and uh…" Jean gulped. "I might get hit with a restraining order from her former principal. He said some things. I lost my temper. He got slightly thrown against a wall…"

"Oh Jean…" Scott groaned.

"I did manage to erase his memory about that part, I think," Jean sighed.

"You **erased** someone's memory?" Scott yelled.

"Just a little!" Jean said. "And don't bring Xavier up! It was an extreme circumstance. He was going to call the police! All I did was diffuse the situation a bit!"

"Jean, I can't believe you of all people did that! We're not supposed to abuse our powers! Where is Maddie anyway?"

"Upstairs resting. Scott I'm sorry I knew I shouldn't have done it but Madelyne was so scared and I just wanted to get her home as fast as possible…"

"I know but Jean we have to be responsible with our powers," Scott said. "We were taught to act more responsible than that. Just think before you use them again, okay?"

Just then Mrs. Smith ran by the open doorway screaming, carrying two suitcases with her. "What was **that **about?" Jean blinked.

"I think Mrs. Smith has now just decided to move out of the building," Scott sighed.

"Why?" Jean asked.

"I kind of wrecked her apartment," Scott said. "Well I helped Reed wreck her apartment when some nanites got out of control. And I…blew up a few things with my powers."

"You blew up her apartment with **your powers?"**

"Yes, I see where this is going and maybe you had a point…" Scott winced. "Okay so we both screwed up. I admit I was worse."

"No, I think it was a tie…" Jean blinked. Not wanting to tell Scott about the **other** incident. "This is not going as well as I thought it would."

"Nothing we do ever does," Scott groaned as another pipe next to him exploded.

**Next: The mutants try to get to know their neighbors. And their attempts at friendship are not made any easier when one of Reed's inventions runs amok. Actually it's Johnny's fault. Again. **


	4. The Tennant Meeting From Hell

**The Tenant Meeting From Hell**

"Are you sure this is a good idea Jean?" Scott asked as he and his girlfriend went down the hallway.

"Of course it is Scott," Jean said. "Sue said that this tenant meeting would help us get to know our neighbors better."

"Those that are left," Scott grumbled. "Three of them moved out since we moved in, **four days ago!"**

"It's going to be fine," Jean said that mostly to convince herself. "At least Madelyne's powers are under control. Thank goodness I learned a lot about helping young telepaths and telekinetics due to my own experiences."

"Do you really think we should have left her with Johnny?" Scott asked. "I mean he's like a slightly less unstable version of Pyro. Why couldn't we leave her with Ben? At least he's responsible!"

"Because Ben is out on a date with his girlfriend Alicia. Scott I'm sure Johnny Storm is a responsible individual," Jean said.

"Jean you do remember the guy stayed a few days at the Xavier Institute right?" Scott asked. "Remember that huge fight on the front lawn?"

"That was a couple years ago," Jean said. "I'm sure he's matured a bit since then."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"So are you sure it's okay for us to be in Reed's lab?" Madelyne asked as she and Johnny looked around.

"Sure! I bring my dates here all the time," Johnny smiled. He saw a strange looking metal ball with sensors sticking out of it. "This is new. I wonder what it does?"

"I don't think you're supposed to touch that," Madelyne said.

"Aw come on! Don't be such a wet blanket," Johnny fiddled around with the ball. "I wonder what it does? Maybe it's a new radio or something?"

Just then Johnny pushed a button and the ball floated in mid air. "Hey it's some kind of metal floating piñata!" Johnny said. Then the ball seemed to invert in on itself and was replaced by a large purple floating hole. "Or not…"  
"I **told **you that you weren't supposed to touch it!" Madelyne snapped. "You are in so much trouble!"

"Am not!" Johnny snapped.

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"SREEEEEEEEEECCCHHHHH!"

"What was that?" Both of them said. They saw a giant purple cockroach emerge from the portal.

"Is that supposed to happen?" Madelyne gulped.

"I don't know…" Johnny blinked.

Then the giant cockroach began to eat the nearest thing to it, which happened to be a large metal table. "Okay, we're in trouble…" Johnny gulped.

"Speak for yourself! I'm not the one who touched it!" Madelyne snapped.

"SCREEEEEH!" Several more giant cockroaches appeared out of the portal.

"You're right! We **are** in trouble!" Madelyne gulped.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"All right everyone! May I please have your attention?" Susan spoke up. There were several tenants in the apartment. "First of all I want to thank Mrs. Finelli for agreeing to hold today's tenant meeting in her apartment. Thank you Mrs. Finelli."

"Don't thank me, thank Sunshine!" Mrs. Finelli held up a yellow tabby cat in her lap. "She just loves parties!"

"Wonderful," Courtney rolled her eyes. There were a half dozen cats in the room as well. She glared at Scott and Jean. "And I thought the food would be the most disgusting thing here!"

"I say this stuff isn't half bad," A gray haired elderly man with an athletic build munched on what looked like brown meatloaf.

"It's probably made out of cat food, Colonel Pettibone," Courtney snorted.

"Tender Vittles Seafood Surprise if I'm not mistaken," Colonel Pettibone smiled. "This is just like the stuff they used to feed us back in the war!"

"Colonel I highly doubt that the United States Military forced their own troops to eat cat food," Reed smiled wryly.

"You've never had a military meal have you boy?" Pettibone snorted. "Besides I never said that they **made** us eat it. You had the option to either go hungry or eat bugs."

"Bugs, that reminds me…" Professor Mapleloop spoke. "We'd better stock up on bug spray in case the Martian insects invade!"

"I thought it was the Alien Mutant Broccoli that was going to invade the Earth?" Reed asked.

"It was but apparently they outsourced to the Martian insects so they could go on vacation," Professor Mapleloop spoke.

"What sort of vacation?" Reed asked.

"Reed, don't encourage him!" Susan groaned. Now can we get this meeting started please?"

"Just a moment Susan," Courtney sniffed. "As tenants we do have some rights you know? And one of those is who or **what **we allow to live in this building." She glared again at Scott and Jean.

"I can just feel the love, can't you?" Scott quipped.

"Courtney you can't just decide who lives here and who **doesn't,**" Susan folded her arms. "All people are guaranteed their civil rights according to the Constitution."

"That doesn't apply to mutants and you **know** it!" Courtney snapped.

"What mutants? Where?" Colonel Pettibone looked around.

"Right **there!"** Courtney pointed to Scott and Jean. "Pay attention you old fool!"

"Hello! Scott Summers and Jean Grey," Scott waved. "I'm the new janitor."

"And he shoots eye beams that blow up walls!" Courtney shouted. "And she's a telepath! She's a mind reader!"

"Then I guess you have nothing to worry about," Another woman said cheerfully.

"Oh is **that** all," Pettibone waved. "At least they're not German."

"Yes we could use their help when the aliens attack," Professor Mapleloop agreed.

"Can't be any worse than the nuts who run this building," Another man muttered.

"In other words Courtney you are pretty much on your own on this," Susan smiled and folded her arms. "Next order of business?"

"Since we are talking about janitorial business this place is a pigsty!" Courtney spoke up. "There's always a mess in the hallways when one of your inventions goes out of control. Or that Thing is eating too many potato chips or whatever else that rock headed maniac eats! Or all the smoke damage from your brother whenever he flames up or out or whatever you call it!"

"Courtney…" Susan sighed. She was getting quite used to the older woman's rants.

"I am serious Susan! If you don't do something soon we are going to have insects the size of Dobermans running around here!" Courtney yelled.

"Courtney I can tell you as a scientist that is pretty much impossible," Reed said.

And at that moment a cockroach the size of a couch ate through the front door and several other insects streamed into the apartment. "Then again what do I know?" Reed blinked.

"AAAH! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!" Courtney shrieked as she pointed at Scott. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"How is **this** my fault?" Scott snapped.

"YOU'RE THE JANITOR! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KEEP BUGS **OUT** OF THE BUILDING!" Courtney shrieked.

"Here we go," Jean used her telekinesis to attack the insects, sending them flying into one another and also using several objects to attack the bugs.

"DIE BUGS DIE!" Colonel Pettibone took out a revolver and started shooting everywhere. "I LOVE IT! IT'S JUST LIKE BACK IN THE WAR!"

"BUG SPRAY! WHERE IS MY BUG SPRAY?" Professor Mapleloop screamed running around. He found some bug spray in his coat but accidentally sprayed himself. "AHHHHH!"

"Get the bugs away from the civilians!" Reed yelled as he tangled with one bug.

"No problem!" Jean picked up a couch and sent it hurtling towards several insects.

Although several bugs got out of the way, one cat was not fast enough to escape the couch.

"MEOW!"

SPLAT!

"YOU KILLED MY CAT!" Mrs. Finelli screamed. "MISTER MITTENS!"

"Oops," Jean blinked.

"JUST KEEP FIGHTING!" Scott yelled as he used his optic blasts on them. "How did these stupid things get in here in the first place?"

Reed and Susan looked at each other. "JOHNNY!"

Twenty minutes and several dozen dead bugs later…

"You were fooling around with my dimensional transwarper and brought all these insects in here!" Reed shouted at Johnny in the hallway. A hallway full of dead bugs and very angry tenants.

"She started it," Johnny whistled and pointed at Madelyne.

"Did not!" Madelyne snapped.

"Did too!" Johnny said.

"Johnny, I'm a telepath," Jean folded her arms. "She did **not.**"

"Busted," Johnny gulped.

"Great! Now I got another mess to clean up!" Scott groaned.

"CAT KILLER!" Mrs. Finelli screamed. "SOMEBODY GET ME A GUN! OR BETTER YET A FLAME THROWER!"

"You want to borrow one of mine?" Colonel Pettibone asked.

"I WARNED YOU!" Courtney yelled. "I WARNED YOU THOSE MUTANTS WERE A MENACE! I'M NOT ALONE ON THIS ANY MORE SUSAN!"

"That's right!" Mrs. Finelli yelled. "I'm going to **personally** write Johnny Carson and he'll support me on this!"

"On second thought Scott maybe you'd better let my **brother** clean this up instead?" Sue gave her brother a death glare. "JONOTHON SPENCER STORM!"

"I hate it when she uses my full name," Johnny moaned.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Well that went well…" Scott grumbled as the three mutants returned to their apartment. "Meet the neighbors you said. Try to get on their good side you said."

"Yeah killing that one lady's cat is a **great** way to get on their good side," Madelyne quipped.

"It was an **accident!**" Jean snapped. "How many times do I have to say that?"

"Yeah like all those other **accidents **you had with Prometheus," Madelyne snickered. "You really don't have very good luck with pets do you Jean?"

"Nah just cats," Scott said. "On the bright side at least our apartment doesn't seem to have much damage in it."

"Until Mrs. Finelli comes by with that flame thrower," Madelyne said. "Or whatever she was planning to use on Jean."

Just then the doorbell rang. "Oh look I think the lynch mob is here," Scott quipped.

"Just get the door," Jean gave him a look. "After what we've been through it can't be **that** bad!"

"Oh no…" Scott opened the door. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"You're wrong Jean," Madelyne quipped. "It's **worse." **

**So who's showing up at the apartment now? Find out next time! **


	5. Old Friends Stop By

**Old Friends Stop By**

"What the hell are **you** doing here?" Scott yelled.

"What? Can't a couple of old friends just 'drop' in Mon Ami?" Remy 'Gambit' LeBeau smirked. He and Rogue were at the door with leather jackets and smirks on their faces.

"Not if you two are going to try and talk us into going back," Scott fumed.

"Hell no," Rogue snorted. "The Swamp Rat and I are taking a vacation away from that nuthouse ourselves. We just wanted to stop by and say hello."

"Well that and to settle a bet between us where you would end up," Remy grinned.

"You were right, Gambit," Rogue smirked. "I owe you a coke."

"Told you Trinity was right," Remy said.

"Trinity told you about this?" Jean asked. She gave Madelyne a look. "After you told them?"

"Actually no," Rogue said. "Trinity got an E-Mail from the Thing and then they e-mailed Kitty, Kurt and Betsy in England who e-mailed Amanda, Rahne and the others at Muir Island who e-mailed Catseye and Tabitha who told everyone at Misfit Manor and the X-Mansion including Wanda who e-mailed Althea, Xi and Toad in Japan who e-mailed Belladonna who happened to be visiting New York City on business and e-mailed me for lunch downtown where she just told me."

"Nice to see the good old mutant grapevine is still working," Jean sighed. "You might as well come in."

"So this is where you guys are living your 'calm peaceful normal' life huh?" Rogue asked sarcastically as she entered the apartment. "What? You couldn't get a sublet with Spider Man?"

"This is only temporary," Jean said quickly as they went into the living room.

"Oh you have a better deal with the Avengers?" Remy asked with a smirk. "Going to be helping their butler Jarvis in the kitchen or something?"

"Listen LeBeau," Scott let out a tense breath. "The pay is good and there are facilities here in case one of us gets sick or something."

BOOOOOOOOOM!

"I guess **that's** one of the 'or some things' huh?" Rogue asked as the building shook for a moment. "By the way what's with all the dead giant bugs in the hall? Someone from Cobra La moving in?"

"We had a little…incident," Jean sighed. "Mister Fantastic is sending the ones that are still alive to another dimension."

"We're just lucky Scott's not cleaning it up since he's the janitor," Madelyne groaned. "Then again Sue said that since the tenants were out for our blood they though it would be safer…"

"Hold it, hold it!" Rogue held up her hand. "Back up. Did you just say Scott is the **janitor?**"

"**The Fantastic Four's** janitor?" Remy blinked.

"No," Scott bristled. "I'm the Maintenance and Repair operator for the entire Baxter Building."

"He was supposed to be only the assistant janitor but the head janitor croaked as soon as we got here," Madelyne said.

"Really?" Rogue raised an eyebrow. "Let me see if I get this straight. You left the X-Men and gave up being team leader to become the Fantastic Four's **janitor?**"

"Good call," Remy chuckled.

"I am not **their** janitor! I work for all the tenants of the building!" Scott snapped.

"Those that are left," Jean sighed. "And don't want to kill us because he blew up a few walls and ceilings."

"Don't blame me!" Scott snapped. "At least I'm not a **cat killer!"**

"That was an accident and you know it!" Jean snapped.

"Cat killer?" Rogue blinked. "You killed a cat?"

"Accidentally squashed it," Jean said. "There was a battle. Giant bugs are everywhere. I used my telekinesis to hurl a couch at it. The giant bug jumped out of the way. The cat couldn't get **out **of the way…"

"Oh this is just too good to be true!" Rogue was laughing her head off.

"It's not funny Rogue," Scott snapped.

"Uh yeah it is," Rogue snickered.

"Gets even funnier," Jean said. "Remember our substitute teacher Mrs. Smith? She moved out the other day after an incident with Scott and some out of control nanites."

"Which Mrs. Smith?" Rogue asked. "I know we're not talking about Tabitha's mom but was it the Mrs. Smith in Home Ec that got the food poisoning or the one that slipped on Toad's slime and broke her hip?"

"I think this one was the one who subbed in both the home ec class and drivers' ed with Kitty," Scott said.

"Oh that one," Rogue nodded. Then the doorbell rang. "Who's that?"

"If I'm lucky it's death," Scott went to answer the door. "Oh for crying out loud what the hell are **you** doing here?"

They all went to the door and saw a very happy Lance, Pietro, Fred and Pyro there. **"Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello!"** They all sang cheerfully.

"Jean the Four Stooges are here," Scott hung his head down.

"Why are you here?" Jean asked.

"Wanda just got an e-mail from Belladonna who just talked with Rogue saying that she was gonna look you up here," Pietro said. "So we thought we might check it out for ourselves."

"Wanda told you about us meeting Belladonna?" Remy was surprised.

"No, I just read her e-mail," Pietro said.

"So this is your **nice normal life** huh?" Lance snickered as he walked in with the other Misfits. "What exactly is this job you've got here Summers?"

"You'll never guess what he's doing here," Remy grinned.

"What he's the janitor or something?" Lance snickered. One look told him all. "You **serious?**"

"Oh man this is priceless!" Pietro hooted. "I can't wait to tell Toad this!"

"I know! They are gonna diiiiiiiiiiiiieeeee!" Pyro giggled with glee.

"They won't be the **only ones,"** Scott gave them a look that indicated he wanted to remove the glasses and blast them through the room.

"Sure Scott, blow up another wall," Jean grumbled. "That will help."

"Isn't there another cat you can flatten somewhere?" Scott snapped at her.

"Don't you take this out on me!" Jean snapped. "I wanted to move to Connecticut near my parents. Taking this job was **your** idea!"

"I didn't hear you complaining when you heard how much money I was offered to take this job," Scott pointed at her.

"What's with the bugs out there?" Pietro asked pointing his thumb outside. "It looks like part of Toad's fantasy."

"Oh there was some kind of interdimensional bug invasion," Rogue told him.

"Nice to know that it doesn't just happen at the Institute," Remy grunted.

"Wait if there are bugs out there and Summers is the janitor…" Lance thought aloud. "Shouldn't he be cleaning it up or something?"

"They gave him the night off because one, it was Johnny Storm's fault," Madelyne explained. "Two the whole cat killing, hole in the wall thing that's kind of got the neighbors upset."

"Seems to me it's a shame for those bugs to be just lying there," Pyro remarked. "Can I go out in the hallway and burn them or something?"

"Sure Pyro, knock yourself out," Pietro waved.

"Cool!" Pyro skipped out into the hallway.

Meanwhile Jean and Scott were still yelling at each other. "And you **had** to terrify Mrs. Smith into running out the building didn't you?" Jean shouted.

"It was not my fault that there were some nanites still in the walls from the last invasion!" Scott snapped. "At least I didn't kill a cat! And considering **your** track record with them I shouldn't have been surprised!"

"**One** cat! One cat that was kidnapped and mutated which you know very well was **not** my fault!" Jean shouted.

"Well this whole situation wasn't my fault either!" Scott snapped at her.

"Then why are we **yelling** at each other?" Jean shouted.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Scott yelled back.

"Hmmm," Pietro zoomed between them. "Super powered maniacs living under one roof, pointless arguments, bizarre inventions, ticked off angry humans, weird disasters and creatures from another dimension tearing up the place…Tell me Summers, exactly how is **this** different than living at the Xavier Institute?"

"Quicksilver go play with Pyro or something," Scott snapped. "Wait a minute, where is Pyro?"

"He's outside burning the bugs in the hallway," Pietro said casually.

"HA HA HA HA!" The smoke alarm sounded as Pyro laughed happily.

"AND YOU JUST **LET** HIM?" Scott yelled. He ran outside.

"Burn Buggys burn!" Pyro danced around a bug lit on fire with Professor Mapleloop.

"YES! YES! BURN THE BUGS! BURN THEM I SAY!" Professor Mapleloop cheered. Just then an alarm sounded. "Hang on, what's that?"

Then the sprinkler system activated. "Wonderful…" Scott groaned as he and Jean got soaked along with Pyro and the Professor.

"And to think people thought I was crazy when I got myself this tiny portable umbrella," Lance walked by smugly as he had a tiny umbrella in his hand. Which got blown away by Jean's telekinesis. "HEY!"

"Didn't anyone tell you that opening an umbrella inside a building is bad luck?" Jean snapped. "Of course it's not as bad as letting Pyro run loose."

"Or letting pineapples run loose," Pyro added. "They're plotting to take over the Earth you know?"

"Pineapples?" Professor Mapleloop blinked. "I thought it was the broccoli."

"Nah they're just cannon fodder," Pyro said. "The pineapples are the masterminds behind the whole thing."

"Of course! Now it all makes sense!" Professor Mapleloop crowed.

"Looks like Pyro has just made a friend," Lance said cheerfully. "And now back to your problem Summers."

"We don't have any problems Alvers!" Scott snapped.

"Did you just buy a whole bunch of groceries and stock your refrigerator?" Lance asked casually.

"Yeah why?" Scott asked. Then he looked around. "Where's Blob?"

"I think we have a problem Scott," Jean groaned as they ran back into the apartment.

"BLOB!" Jean yelled as Fred was munching down on everything in their pantry.

"What? I'm hungry," Fred told them.

"I'll alert the media," Rogue said.

"Tell 'em you're out of potato chips," Fred swallowed the last marshmallow. "Oh and marshmallows."

"Why didn't you guys stop him?" Jean yelled at Rogue and Remy. "The Misfit Morons I get but **you guys**?"

"Because as long as he's eating **your **food, he ain't eating **ours,"** Rogue said matter of factly.

"You have food?" Fred asked mid munch.

"You touch my Dove Bar and you die," Rogue told him.

"HA HA HA HA!" Pyro was heard laughing. "A good fire can always stand up to a little water! Wow look at all the smoke."

"You left Pyro back in the hallway didn't you?" Remy remarked.

"YES!" Scott snapped as he stormed out.

The sprinkler system was still going on but Pyro was still trying to set fire to all the dead bugs and there was a lot of smoke. And there was more fuel to the fire.

"DUDE! YOU GOT ME ALL WET!" Johnny Storm yelled as he was soaked with water.

"I always thought you were all wet Stormy," Pietro taunted.

"What are these **losers** doing here?" Johnny snapped.

"_I'm burning things in the rain!"_ Pyro danced around trying to keep the fires on the dead bugs lit. _"I'm burning things in the rain…" _

"Hey Summers you really do need more potato chips," Lance walked out munching some.

"We have some friends over…Jean sighed. "Visiting."

"Yeah well your friends are doing a lot of smoke damage!" Johnny snapped. "And my sister is gonna make me clean it up!"

"Let me see if I get this straight," Pietro zoomed over to him. "Even though you have a janitor…**You** have to do the work? Oh this is gonna be **fun!**" He ran off.

"Where is he going?" Johnny blinked.

"Odds are wherever your room is," Rogue said as she casually folded her arms. "I'd follow him if I were you. And uh, speaking from experience…Whatever you do, don't let him get in your underwear drawer."

"HEY!" Johnny ran off after Pietro.

"And once again we have **another** problem," Scott groaned. "Alvers can't you control…? What am I saying? Of course you **can't!"**

Then the water from the sprinklers was shut off. "What is with all the water works? Ben Grimm walked in. He looked around at the half burned dead bugs in the hallway. "Uh did something weird happen here?"

"Yeah," Scott nodded. "It did."

"Just checking," Ben shrugged. "And I missed all the action."

"Hang around a few more minutes," Rogue said. "There will be more."

"Where's Professor Mapleloop?" Remy looked around. "And where's Pyro?"

"They were here a minute ago," Lance said.

"Well they're not here now!" Scott snapped.

"We can see that," Rogue said. "Jean you wanna check on 'em?"

"Why not?" Jean used her telepathy to find them. "Oh boy…"

"What?" Ben asked.

"Who do you want to go after first?" Jean sighed. "Pyro and Mapleloop creating some kind of vegetable bomb or Quicksilver fooling around in the Fantastic Four's private quarters?"

"I'll get Pyro with Rogue and the rest of you handle Quicksilver," Lance volunteered.

"I wanna see what happens too!" Madelyne said. "Come on! I know where the Professor's apartment is!" They ran off to stop Pyro.

"I'll stay here and watch the food," Fred called out from the apartment.

"Or what's left of it," Scott sighed. "Well at least he'll stay in one place!"

"And the rest of us will take care of Quicksilver," Jean sighed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Johnny's piercing scream could be heard throughout the building. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY UNDERWEAR DRAWERYOU MANIAC? IS THAT MAYO?"

"Can't say he wasn't warned," Remy remarked.

"You might want to get a camera for this," Lance told Ben. "You know, just in case."

"Gotcha," Ben nodded. They went up to the Fantastic Four's residence and immediately saw Pietro's handiwork. There were drawings on the walls done in shaving cream. Clothes strewn all over the place and silly string anyway.

"This is nothing," Scott said. "You should see the damage he does when he has a full cup of coffee in him."

"Uh excuse me!" Reed Richards bounced in. His body was tied in knots until he was a giant rubber ball with arms, legs and a head sticking out. "Could someone help me here?"

"Not again!" Ben groaned. "Stretch I told you to lay off those wacky experiments where you test how far you can bend."

"This time it wasn't me," Reed said.

CRASH! SMASH!

"OH YOU ARE SO DEAD!" Johnny shouted.

"Scott, Jean I believe one of your friends is in my lab," Reed told them.

CRASH! SHATTER!

"Wrecking your lab more like it," Ben remarked.

"To be fair a lot of it was already wrecked with the giant bugs," Reed said. "Could someone please untie me?"

SHATTER!

"I AM NOT CLEANING **THAT** UP!" Johnny yelled. "Is that stuff supposed to burn through metal?"

"Come on!" Jean groaned as they ran into the lab.

"Uh excuse me! Still tied up here!" Reed called out. He bounced after them.

Pietro and Johnny were running around. Well Johnny was in his fire form flying around chasing Pietro. "YOU ARE SO DEAD!" Johnny shouted as he shot fire balls at him.

"Can't catch me slowpoke!" Pietro cackled. "HA HA HA HA HA!"

"Oh great, **another** mess for me to clean up," Scott sighed. "I still haven't fixed the last two apartments I trashed!"

"What?" Remy blinked.

"Don't ask," Jean groaned.

Just then Susan Storm walked in with Rogue, Lance, Madelyne and Pyro. "Boy is there a big mess on the third floor!" Madelyne said.

"And there's another one in here," Ben said.

"What is going on here?" Susan yelled. "Scott! Jean! I leave for one moment to try and calm down the neighbors and I find bugs on fire in the hallways, the sprinkler system on and broccoli juice all over the place! And now this!"

"Broccoli juice?" Remy asked.

"Jean did say not to ask," Scott sighed.

"Ooh! Fire Man!" Pyro's eyes widened.

BOOM!

"Could someone do something before my lab is **completely** destroyed?" Reed asked. "And then could someone untie me?"

"Oh! I can help!" Pyro used his powers on Johnny.

"HEY!" Before Johnny knew it he was dancing around in the sky doing the Macarena. "What's going on here? I hate this stupid dance!"

"Uh Pyro has the ability to control any type of fire," Scott said.

"I got that," Ben said. He picked up a sturdy camera. "And now I'm **getting** it on film!"

"This is **insane!**" Susan yelled.

"This is the Misfits," Scott sighed. "Get used to it."

"HA HA HA!" Pietro laughed. "HEY!" He was telekinetically grabbed by Jean. "No fair!"

"Don't talk to me about fair Mister!" Jean shouted. Then an alarm sounded. "Now what?"

"According to my sensors there's some kind of unidentified object headed this way," Reed stretched his neck to one of the computers. "It looks like a UFO."

"A UFO? As in a **spaceship**?" Johnny blinked, still suspended in midair.

"Oh right, I just remembered something," Pyro spoke up. "The real reason we dropped by. You see the Institute got some kind of subspace message yesterday from your mum. She's dropped by for a visit."

"WHAT?" Scott yelled.

"My instruments are picking up an unidentified object!" Reed shouted. "It's headed straight for the Baxter Building! No wait…It's on **top **of the Baxter Building!"

"Scotty! Hello! Hi there!" A female voice rang out. "It's Mommy! I've come to visit!"

"Mommy…" Scott whimpered.

**Don't you just love it when family just drops by? He he! Wait till you see what happens next! **


	6. My Mother The Spaceship

**My Mother The Spaceship**

"Jean I kind of expected it when the Misfits and some of your X-Men friends dropped in for a visit," Susan Storm looked upwards at the alien spacecraft landed on the roof of the Baxter Building. "But I never expected you to have visitors from outer space."

"Oh like **we **never do," Ben scoffed.

"You have a point," Susan admitted,

"Stop it! Stop it!" Johnny snapped as he was still in his fire form, therefore still being controlled by Pyro like a puppet. "Make him stop!"

"Johnny just flame out!" Jean snapped. "He won't be able to control you then!"

"Awww! Nuts!" Pyro snapped as Johnny did as he was told.

"You people certainly are," Johnny grumbled.

"Excuse me I'm still tied up here!" Reed called out. He was still tied up in knots in a ball shape. "Could somebody help me? Anybody?"

"In a moment dear," Susan blinked at the spaceship.

"Hey guys! You're all out of popcorn too," Fred lumbered in munching a huge bag of popcorn. "What did I miss?"

"Pyro played Flame Boy like a puppet and Cyke's mom is in town," Ben said.

"Okay! I'm caught up," Fred nodded.

"Scott! Oh Scottie!" K-5's chipper voice could be heard through the communications system. "There you are! Surprise! I've come for a visit!"

"Mom…" Scott cringed.

"Mom?" Johnny blinked. "Your mom flies a **spaceship?**"

"Not exactly…" Scott groaned. "She **is **the spaceship."

"Excuse me I'm sorry," Johnny blinked. "Sometimes I space out when I don't realize it. I must have because I thought you said that your mother was the…"

"She **is,**" Jean interrupted him. "It's a long story."

"Short version?" Ben asked.

"Mom and Dad got kidnapped by insane aliens. Mom got killed by aliens who stuck her brain in a space ship while they sent Scott's dad off to the mines where he escaped and became a space pirate," Jean sighed.

"Man and I thought I got a raw deal," Ben blinked.

"Yeah well my Mom is a spaceship so no smart remarks," Scott grumbled.

"Actually Scott I am the **last** guy to bust someone because a family member got killed by aliens," Johnny growled. "My father was killed by a stinking Skrull!" **(1)**

"Long story," Sue sighed.

"They always are," Rogue admitted. "Now why couldn't **my** parents get killed by aliens?"

"Fascinating," Reed blinked. "You know what would be **more** fascinating? IF SOMEONE UNTIES ME!"

"Oh all right," Ben groaned. "Hey Blob give me a hand will ya?"

"No prob," Fred nodded. "I like puzzles."

"So uh…Mrs. Summers…" Johnny blinked. "How are you?"

"Oh call me K-5!" The spaceship said cheerfully. "Quite fine actually. My boyfriend and I were patrolling the Antares Quadrant when we found a wormhole that goes right here to Earth and we thought that as long as we were in the neighborhood we might as well stop in and see how you were doing!"

"Oh your boyfriend…The **other** spaceship," Scott tried to act as normal as possible in this situation.

"Her boyfriend is a spaceship?" Johnny asked.

"Well what **else** would he be? A tugboat?" Scott snapped.

"Oh yeah that does kind of make sense," Johnny blinked.

"Now turn my ankle to the right," Reed instructed. "No my right!"

"You mean left!" Ben snapped. "You always do this! I tell you to say either right or left but you always make it so complicated!"

"Why can't he say left?" Fred asked.

"I have no idea," Ben shook his head.

"I can say left but sometimes your left is different from my left!" Reed said. "OW! That's not my ankle! That's my elbow!"

"To be fair they both kind of look alike at this angle," Fred remarked.

Meanwhile Scott and his mother were catching up. "So you've left the X-Men and are now a **janitor?**" K-5 asked.

"Head custodian, Mom," Scott sighed.

"Well at least it's not like your father's job of being a space pirate," K-5 sighed. "And it is showing signs of stability. So when are you and Jean going to get married?"

"Mooom," Scott whined.

"This is so freaking weird it's not funny," Johnny blinked. "And I always thought our family was nuts!"

"You have no idea how weird ours is," Madelyne sighed. Just then an alarm sounded. "What's that?"

"R-45!" K-5 gasped. "He's in trouble! There are two alien warships that are firing on him!"

A large starship loomed into view. It was being fired upon by two different looking starships which were firing on each other as well as the first starship. "I recognize one of those ships!" Ben shouted. "That's a Skrull ship!"

"I don't know the other one," Johnny said.

"I do. It's a Snark ship," Scott said.

"The Snarks? Who are the Snarks? Are they your alien enemies?" Sue asked.

"Actually they're the Power Pack's alien enemies but we kind of borrowed them for a while," Rogue said. "Long story."

"Why are they firing on your boyfriend?" Johnny asked.

"We're kind of in the middle of a multi-empire cosmic war," K-5 said. "A war Scotty and Jean kind of helped start."

"You started a multi-empire cosmic war?" Sue looked at Scott.

"It wasn't just us! The X-Men and Misfits kind of helped too!" Jean snapped.

"You hired a couple of people who start cosmic wars?" Johnny looked at Reed. "Smart move!"

Just then Susan's cell phone rang. "Hello? Courtney? Courtney I can't talk right now! Things are kind of busy here! What? What men? **Snake men?** Snake men in blue suits are running around with guns in the building? How did they get past security?"

"**What** security?" Remy asked. "Remy and Rogue walked in the front door of the building."

"Yeah we teleported in here no problem," Pietro remarked. "You know with all the bad guys you people have you would think you would have at least an alarm system or something."

"Well we did have something but with the whole nanite infestation we had to dismantle it and I sort of didn't have time to fix it…" Reed began. "OW! Blob **that **was my ankle!"

"Hold it! We have strange snake men in blue suits in the building shooting at people!" Susan snapped. "As well as some aliens and spaceships having a battle over the Baxter Building!"

"Snake men? Cobra?" Lance gasped. "Cobra is here **too?** What are **they** doing here?"

"Who knows? Maybe they got bored with us kicking their butts all the time and decided to have someone else kick their butts for variety?" Pietro shrugged.

"Of course…" Scott groaned. "WHY NOT?"

**1. Yup that actually happened in the comics believe it or not!**

**Next! A big ol' battle with aliens, Cobra, spaceships and mutants! What more do you want? **


	7. Party Crashers

**Party Crashers**

"So let me get this straight," Johnny said. "Not only do we have to deal with three alien spaceships having a dogfight over the city of New York…"

"I'M COMING BABY!" K-5 blasted off and started firing at the other ships. "EAT LIGHT ALIEN SCUM! NOBODY INTERRUPTS QUALITY TIME WITH MY BABY BOY AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!"

"Correction," Susan sighed. "**Four** aliens spaceships and one of them is a ticked off mother."

"Right, **four **spaceships having a dogfight and now we have Cobra running around the Baxter Building?" Johnny groaned.

"Ooh! I get to burn more things! Well people actually!" Pyro ran to where the action was. "WHOOPIE!"

"And now Pyro is running loose..." Johnny sighed.

"There goes our fire insurance," Ben groaned.

"We still have fire insurance?" Johnny blinked.

"All right here's the plan," Reed sighed. "Susan, you and Ben aid the Misfits, the X-Men and Madelyne in dealing with Cobra and rescuing the civilians. Scott, you are a pilot so you and Jean take off in the Fantastic Jet and help your mother and the other spaceship."

"What about me?" Johnny asked.

"YOU'RE GOING TO UNTIE ME!" Reed shouted.

"Man no need to yell," Johnny winced.

"I've got this," Fred grabbed Reed with both hands and started tossing him in the air. "I learned this little trick while working at my Aunt Polly's pizza slash pretzel factory. Before it closed down."

"Let me guess, because you ate all the food?" Johnny joked.

"No smart guy!" Fred snapped. "Because it got closed down by the health department when they discovered that my Aunt Polly was using my Uncle Alberto as the special topping on her Widow's Surprise Pizza!"

"Johnny…Here's a little tip," Scott sighed. "Never ask Blob **anything** about his relatives!"

"Could have used that information like two minutes ago," Johnny groaned.

"Alley Oop!" Fred bounced Reed off of a nearby wall and Reed became untangled.

"Reed! Are you all right?" Sue ran to Reed lying down on the ground.

"Oooh! Yes Mommy I would like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich," Reed said in a happy voice.

"Okay I'm taking on the Skrulls!" Johnny flamed on and flew off after the Skrull ship.

"Got issues I see?" Scott asked Susan.

"Oh yeah," Susan sighed. "We'd better get going! Reed uh…"

"Oooh! Bunnies…" Reed cooed.

"Never mind!" Susan just left him on the roof as the others went to fight.

Sue, Ben and the Misfits raced downstairs. "We've got to save the hostages!" Susan said. "Madelyne! What can you sense?"

"A lot of trouble," Madelyne worked on using her fledgling telepathy. "A lot of fear and panic."

"We have got to work quickly before…" Susan began before her foot stepped in some strange green sludge. "What the hell is this? A Cobra toxic weapon?"

"Uh no," Madelyne said. "Not exactly. That was there before."

"AAAAHH! I CAN'T GET THE TASTE OF BROCCOLI OUT OF MY MOUTH!" One Cobra Trooper stumbled around, covered in green goo.

"DIE! VEGATABLE SYMPATHIZERS! DIE! HA HA HA!" Professor Mapleloop shot more green goo from a hose and tank on his back. Several more Cobras tried to flee for their lives.

"ALL THIS GUNK IS STOPPING UP OUR WEAPONS!" One Cobra Trooper shouted. "I HATE BROCCOLI!"

"MEOW! MEOWWWW!" A cat was on one Cobra Trooper's face. The Cobra Trooper was flailing around helplessly trying to keep it from scratching his face off.

"VENGENCE FOR MISTER MITTENS!" Mrs. Finelli screamed as she was on the back of another Cobra Trooper, whacking him with her purse. "VENGENCE WILL BE MINE!"

"Uh guys, there's something I should mention. The fear and panic I was sensing," Madelyne sighed. "It wasn't coming from the **tenants."**

"AAAHHHHH!" More Cobra Soldiers were fleeing for their lives from a giant cockroach.

"Oh look at that," Susan blinked. "We missed one."

"Take that! And that! And that!" The Colonel was beating the crap out of another Cobra Soldier. "This is how we dealt with the Germans at Normandy! TAKE THAT!"

"Ow! My spleen…" The Cobra Solider fell down.

"WHO'S NEXT?" The Colonel pulled out a gun and started shooting wildly. "HA HA HA HA!"

"I guess all these years of them putting up with our weird stuff have finally caused them all to snap," Ben blinked.

"I AM MAD AS HELL AND I AM NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANY MORE!" Courntey was beating the stuffing out of a man with an eyepatch and black mustache and blue helmet. "TAKE THAT! AND THAT! AND THAT!"

"Lady! OW! Please! OW! We're just after the Bloody Fantastic Four's weapons!" Major Bludd screamed in pain. "OW! We were never really after you!"

"I DON'T CARE YOU FREAKING…" Then Courtney began to scream some very unladylike words.

"Wow, I didn't even think Courtney **knew** those words," Ben winced. Susan instinctively clapped her hands on Madelyne's ears.

"EVERY TIME! EVERY FREAKING TIME SOMETHING GOES ON AROUND HERE IT'S SOME RUFFIAN WANTING REVENGE AGAINST THE FANTASTIC FOUR FOR **THIS!**" Courtney shouted as she beat up Major Bludd. "OR WANTING TO STEAL **THAT** FROM THE FANTASTIC FOUR! AND WHO **PAYS **FOR IT? I DO! EVERY FREAKING TIME I END UP HAVING TO REPLACE HALF MY THINGS BECAUSE I HAVE TO LIVE IN THE SAME FREAKING BUILDING WITH THOSE LUNATICS! WELL THAT IS IT! I HAVE HAD IT! NO MORE! YOU HEAR ME? **NO MORE!"**

"Who is the guy being the human punching bag?" Ben asked.

"Oh I know who that is," Lance said. "That's Major Bludd. Some low level geek that's part of Cobra."

"Oh Gambit remembers who he was," Remy nodded. "Didn't Toad beat the crap out of him so bad he couldn't even walk for over a **year?**"

"OW! OW! OH GOD! NOT MY GOOD EYE!" Major Bludd screamed like a little girl.

"Yup that's him," Fred nodded.

"OH THE HUMANITY! PLEASE NO! NOT MY SPINE AGAIN!"

"Looks like he's going back to the hospital for a long time," Pietro said cheerfully. "I wonder what he's doing here in the first place?"

"Knowing that slime, he's probably trying to make a name for himself by stealing some of your stuff," Rogue waved and turned around. "I'm going back outside to help Cyclops. We ain't needed **here."**

"HA HA HA HA! BURNY! BURNY! BURNY!" Pyro laughed as he used his powers on a few Cobra soldiers.

"Rogue! Wait! I'm coming **with **you!" Lance turned around and ran after her.

"Me too!" Remy turned around and ran as well.

BOOOOOOOM!

"HA HA HA HA!" Pyro laughed. "I BLOWED UP THAT WALL REAL GOOD!"

"I think I'll watch the spaceship battle too!" Pietro ran off. "Ciao!"

"Ohhhhh…" Susan put her hand on her head.

"Now you know why Jean and Scott left the X-Men," Madelyne sighed.

"And knowing is a real good reason to get fire insurance," Fred added.

Meanwhile the dogfight over the city was getting quite interesting. "Scott you just blasted off another satellite dish!" Jean snapped as she and Scott flew in the open topped flying vehicle.

"Sorry," Scott said. "I admit flying this thing is harder than it looks."

BLAM!

"Well at least your aim is better than the Human Torch's," Jean muttered. "Not by much but better! That's it! I've had it!"

"Jean what are you doing?" Scott shouted.

"Something that I should have done at the beginning of this mess!" Jean snapped as she changed into a Phoenix Raptor. She flew in front of the two alien ships. _**"ATTENTION SNARKS AND SKRULLS! THIS IS THE PHOENIX! DESTROYER OF WORLDS! REMEMBER ME?"**_

"I could have sworn I heard screaming," Johnny stopped mid flight. "And holy cow when did Jean learn to do **that?**"

"Another **long **story…" Scott sighed.

_**"You **__**know**__** what I did to the Shi'ar Empire!"**_ Phoenix hissed. _**"If you do not wish a repeat to happen right here and now I suggest you both leave and **__**never**__** return. You have until I count to three! One…" **_

"RETREAT! RETREAT!" Both Skrulls and Snarks screamed as they flew their starships away.

"That was **scary,"** Johnny gulped. "Jean, what exactly did you **do** to the Shi'ar Empire?"

"I kind of wrecked it, killed their emperor and blew up a planet or two," Jean said as she returned to her real form. "Oh yeah and I kind of helped start part of that intergalactic war thing."

"Oh is **that** all?" Johnny whimpered. "I think we should go home now. Uh, help the others save the civilians from Cobra."

"Good idea," Scott sighed. "Mom are you and R-45 okay?"

"We're fine dear," K-5 said. "I think we should go now. I sense some US fighter planes headed our way. Good bye dear. See you soon!" They flew off into the sky.

"Oh goody, more visits from our friends in the military…" Scott groaned as the fighter jets appeared. "I can't **wait **to explain this one!"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Several hours later…

"Well that was an interesting evening," Ben sighed as he watched several injured Cobra soldiers being wheeled away into an ambulance.

"Interesting is not the word for it," Scott said as he watched two soldiers carry out a huge Plexiglas container carrying a large cockroach. "We missed one huh?"

"Yeah but on the bright side it did help us corral the Cobras," Remy remarked. "Unfortunately it didn't corral other people."

"WE MUST KEEP FIGHTING ON THE SHORES AND ON THE BEACHES!" Professor Mapleloop was being dragged away in a straightjacket. "FIGHT! FIGHT AGAINST THE TYRANNY OF BROCCOLI! HA HA HA!"

"I'LL **KILL **'EM!" Courtney was also being dragged away in a straightjacket. "LET ME AT THEM! I'LL STRANGLE THE THING WITH MY BARE HANDS! AAAAAAAAHHH!"

"THOSE MUTANTS DID **WHAT?**" A policeman yelled. "I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T HAVE A BAZOOKA IN MY APARTMENT?" Colonel Pettibone yelled. "THAT'S MY CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO HAVE A BAZOOKA IN MY BEDROOM!"

"Oh my head…" Reed moaned. "And my arms, my legs…my **spleen**…"

"You know I think we wore out our welcome here," Rogue coughed as she dragged Remy away. "See ya around Jean! Scott! Kid!"

"Bye! Have a good trip!" Fred waved. "We should leave too. There's no more potato chips."

"Good idea," Lance nodded. "Come on guys we can come back and play with the Fantastic Four another day. Summers has a huge mess to clean up!"

"Yeah we'll see you guys later!" Pyro called out as the Misfits teleported away. "And next time we'll have some **real **fun!"

**"Next time?"** Johnny had a twitch in his eye.

**"Real fun?"** Ben was shocked.

"Yeah this place is **nothing** like our old life," Madelyne grinned. "A lot quieter. You should see it when other versions of ourselves arrive from other dimensions. Like those Alf clones."

"Did you just say **Alf clones?"** Johnny yelled. "Sue they know Alf clones from other dimensions! Sue? Sue?"

"Oh look at all the people who've left messages on our phone…"Sue was looking at her cell phone. "The Mayor, the chief of police, the Pentagon, NASA, Nick Fury…PETA….Something called the Cat Lover's Liberation Society."

"I think we'd better go back to our apartment and lie down," Scott moaned as he and the two mutant females left the room.

"I think we need to have a meeting," Reed sighed. "Something tells me that hiring some former X-Men to work for us may not have been the **smartest idea** I've ever had."

"No? Ya think?" Ben snapped.

"I don't know who ticks me off more, the aliens and Cobra crashing or the Misfits!" Johnny snapped. "No, definitely the **Misfits!**"

**Stay tuned for the conclusion and a few nervous breakdowns. **


	8. If At First You Don't Succeed

**If At First You Don't Succeed**

"Well let's check the damage," Reed Richards sighed. There was a bandage on his head. "I have a mild concussion. Which is an accomplishment for someone with an elastic body. The entire Baxter Building is either covered in burnt broccoli juice, giant bug parts or just plain trashed. My lab is all but destroyed. Several walls have holes in them and at least three apartments are uninhabitable now. Mrs. Finelli has decided to move out to save her surviving cats. **Both **Professor Mapleloop and Courtney have just been taken away by the paramedics to the nearest psychiatric ward. Colonel Pettibone has just been arrested by the police on illegal weapon possession charges. Several Cobra Soldiers have severe burns and one had a heart attack. Major Bludd will probably be confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life. The entire city is up in arms over the spaceships dog fighting over the city and for some reason there is half a pound of cream cheese in my sock drawer."

"And this is what? Day **Four** of Scott and Jean moving in?" Ben asked casually.

"Day **Five,**" Susan watched the sun come up. "It was a long night. What with the disaster of a tenant's meeting and both the spaceships and Cobra invading and all."

"Look Stretch, you know me. I'm the **last** guy to throw stones when it comes to wrecking stuff," Ben said. "But this is a lot for me! And that's saying something!"

"They're not responsible for **all **the insanity that's happened," Susan defended. "Especially not the giant cockroaches!"

"No, just for several tenants moving out and a spaceship fight over the skyline of New York City that sent half the population into a panic," Ben said. "Oh yeah and the Misfits showing up."

"Not to mention they are kind of responsible for blowing up at least **half** the building," Johnny added. "Which is a first for us because it's usually one of our bad guys that does it. Of course they don't all gang up on us at the same time."

"Reed I hate to say this but if this keeps up we won't have any tenants left!" Susan sighed.

"And that's a **bad** thing?" Johnny chuckled.

"It is when you consider a quarter of our income comes from the rent they pay," Sue said.

"So what? We'll get new tenants," Ben snorted. "I know for a fact Alicia's looking for a new place. She can move in downstairs. And there's plenty of room for her studio."

"Yeah we can't exactly throw Cyclops and his friends out on the street," Johnny snorted. "Can we?"

Just then the phone rang. "I wonder who **that **could be?" Ben rolled his eyes.

"Hello?" Reed answered the phone. "Yes, Mr. Gyrich. Yes I did employ two X-Men before…Well technically one X-Man. But I…"

"Just what we need," Ben folded his arms. "A phone call from Mister Sunshine."

"Ben the man is now Head of the Superhuman Activities Commission," Susan shushed him.

"How a dork like him got that job I'll never know," Johnny scoffed.

"Simple, he bribed a few dozen people!" Ben snorted.

"But Mr. Gyrich! I…But I can't just…I understand," Reed sighed as he hung up the phone.

"So what did Mr. Happy want?" Ben asked.

"Mr. Gyrich expressed some…concern over our decision to hire mutants to work here at the Baxter Building," Reed sighed. "He said that our contracts with the government and the military may be in jeopardy because of it. That our security may be compromised."

"What does **that **mean?" Johnny asked.

"It means because we got a couple of mutants around they're gonna pull the plug on all the dough we get on Reed's inventions and our bills for taking care of all the nut jobs that attack the city!" Ben growled.

"Are you saying the government can discriminate against us because we employ mutants?" Sue gasped. "That's insane!"

"Yeah they got powers just like us!" Johnny said. "What's the difference?"

Then Johnny looked around. "Oh wait…Never mind. I think I see it."

Meanwhile back at Scott and Jean's apartment.

"Well that was an interesting evening," Scott said as he and Jean sat on the couch. "And you even went Phoenix on someone. No mission is complete without you doing that."

"Or you blowing something up," Jean gave him a look.

"Yeah I can't **wait** to see the fun we're gonna have when Doctor Doom shows up here!" Scott groaned. "Did I really just **say** that?"

"Oh my god…" Jean realized something. "We're doing it **again!** Scott we're falling into the same old patterns we had back at the Xavier Institute!"

"You're right!" Scott gasped. "We're addicts! We're adrenaline addicts! We can't stop ourselves!"

"Not as long as we live here!" Jean said. "Madelyne! Start packing!"

Twenty five minutes later the Fantastic Four went to the mutants' apartment. "Reed we can't just kick them out!" Susan protested.

"If we let them stay we might not have a home left either!" Johnny said. "Ewww…I got broccoli and bug juice on my shoes!"

"We have to talk to them and decide on the best course of action," Reed sighed. "I don't want to fire Scott. Maybe we can come up with some kind of legal strategy…?"

Just then the door opened. Scott and Jean were carrying suitcases. "Good we really need to talk Reed," Scott said. "Look I appreciate everything you've done for us. But I don't think this is gonna work out. Us working here that is."

"Really?" Ben asked sarcastically. "And everything was going along so **swell."**

"Seriously Ben, tonight was the same kind of insanity Scott and I are trying to get **away **from," Jean said. "I mean things got out of control enough with our enemies and friends. If some of your enemies show up things could really get out of control!"

"You mean things could get **worse** than **this?**" Johnny looked at the walls covered in bug parts, green slime and several holes.

"So I think it's best for everyone that we just take off and leave before well before the building falls down or something…" Scott sighed.

"That might not be such a bad idea," Reed said. "I mean if that's what you really want."

"I know you were going to pay us for our services but…" Jean began.

"Hold on!" Reed took out his wallet. "Here! Take it! Take all the money I have! And I'll mail you a check for the rest! Here! Go!"

"Dude they wrecked our pad and he's paying **them?**" Johnny whispered to Ben.

"You want them to **stay** until they can afford a new place?" Ben whispered back to Johnny.

"I've got five hundred bucks!" Johnny shelled out his wallet. "Take that too! Please!"

"We'll let you know when we get settled," Jean said as they left.

"Take your time!" Ben called out as they left. "Don't rush back!"

"That was a freebee," Johnny blinked. "Just one final question: Who's gonna clean **this **mess up?"

"Oy…" Ben groaned. "I'll get the hammers you get the buckets Stretch…"

Not that much later on the streets of New York City in a van bound for Connecticut. "All right! **This** will be the start of our new lives," Jean looked like she was about to snap. "This will be a new beginning! This will stop all the insanity!"

"Is that a **pterodactyl?**" Scott blinked as he looked up at the sky.

"RARRRR!"

"I believe it is," Jean blinked. "And it's being chased by Spider Man and a guy in a fur vest. Looks like Kraven the Hunter."

"Yeah that's him all right," Scott nodded. "He must have brought it back from the Savage Land or something."

"Uh guys are we gonna **do **something or are we just gonna drive away?" Madelyne asked.

"Let Spider Man handle it!" Jean snapped. "We are **done** with the super hero lifestyle!"

SPLAT!

"Right after we fry a certain bird **extra crispy**," Scott growled as he saw the huge mess the pterodactyl left on his car.

"Fine," Jean sighed as they chased after the flying dinosaur in their car. "One last dinosaur hunt and **then** we'll go off to Connecticut to begin our weirdo free lives! And this time I **mean **it!"

"So Jean, about this insanity free lifestyle…Are we **there** yet?" Madelyne asked.

"Oh shut up and get out the net from the back seat!" Jean snapped.


End file.
